


Spare Me Over and Over

by engel82



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 09:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/649224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engel82/pseuds/engel82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Death is an addiction...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spare Me Over and Over

The people he fucked, the people who tried to kill him, he’s lost count, he’s forgotten their names.

Derek smiles as the realization dawns on him, they don’t mean anything anymore, they don’t have power over him.

The blood is quickly draining out of his body and his heartbeat is slowing down as life escapes him. The wolfsbane is spreading through his body and it feels like home. It feels safe and familiar. It feels deserved.

It’s worth the pain of his skin being torn up by blades, it’s worth the bones breaking and the muscles pierced by bullets. The high death leaves behind.

She cries, Laura. She begs him to stop, begs him to fight. He’s all she’s got left, and Derek hates her as much as he hates himself when she says it.

He doesn't care, doesn't want to care. He wants to suffer, he wants to die. He wants to numb himself until he can’t feel anything anymore and death is a friend. Death is home. Death is his addiction.

Death takes Laura and becomes his only family.

:::

He fucks them in the dark, fucks them in alleys and public restrooms. He marks all of them, taints them and leaves them.

He doesn't ask for their names, doesn't ask for their numbers. All he needs is their bodies. All they get is his.

He becomes an amalgam of people he’s never known. He becomes invisible to his senses, he becomes everything he isn't. He becomes what Kate wanted him to be. He becomes what she showed him.

He lost against her, won against death. Life was never meant to be fair.

:::

Beacon Hills changes everything.

Because he knows Stiles’ name and he knows his body. He knows the way Stiles begs for more and the way he gasps Derek’s name. Because Stiles is fragile and Derek doesn't want to break him. Because Stiles puts himself in front of death and refuses to let Derek go.

And Derek cannot pretend to be anything more, anything less than who he is. There are no strangers to hide behind, no names to fake. All that is left is them, together and Derek finds himself fighting against death too many times. Because Death is rock bottom. Death is the end.

Death is being away from Stiles.

:::

In the end this is his fault, and when the house burns down around him Derek thinks this will be the fight he loses against death.

Everything is fire. Everything is ashes. Everything is memories. The cold burn of death through his veins spreads too quickly, the oxygen goes to his lungs too slowly and the air around him...

It smells of the ocean, like salt and sun tangled into one, tangled into life. He can hear the sound of waves crashing on the shores gradually turning into growling and Derek forces his eyes open.

Stiles is standing between him and the fire, blue glowing lines moving down his arms like rain on his skin and flames of water rising from his palms. Derek could swear the Earth moves when Stiles throws his head back and the sound of the sea rumbles out of him.

And he feels the grass against his face, feels the breeze against his skin. He feels death leave his soul and a familiar pain in his chest as life fills his body. He’s never felt so lost or more grateful than when Stiles is by his side again, hands wet as he runs his fingers over Derek’s neck.

“Not today, okay?” he asks softly, and Derek thinks maybe Stiles knows about all the times he flirted with Death.

Derek closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and everything is now, everything is life. Everything is Stiles.

“Not ever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt _This is all your fault_


End file.
